Coping with failure is one of the most useful skills you can develop as a dancer. Why? Because no success is achieved without having gone through failure to get there. Continue to develop that skill by using these 5 ways to cope with failure for dancer mental health.
No one tries something once and succeeds on the first try.
Let me repeat that. No one tries something once and succeeds on the first try.
Heck, even if it’s your millionth pirouette, no one succeeds on every try.
You have to learn! And oftentimes, this learning comes from doing. From trying. From experimenting. From messing up. A lot. And from failing. A lot.
Add onto this that failing hurts, so of course we try to avoid it. In fact,
res shows that when we feel rejected (like not winning at competition, or being cut in an audition), “As far as your brain is concerned, a broken heart is not so different from a broken arm.”
So, if you are interested in achieving success on any level, both in and out of the dance studio, it’s best to be prepared to face some failure, and hurt, along the way. So, how can we do that? These 5 ways to cope with failure for dancer mental health can help.
Become inspired by others’ failures.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You know that superpower we tend to think really successful people have? The one that helps them rise above all of the challenges and difficulties they face along the way?
Well, guess what. You have it too.
Behind every great success, there is almost certainly an even greater failure. Or two, or three. Find the people that inspire you. Learn about their failures. And learn from their failures.
Because if those people can overcome failure, so can you.
Get inspired by Misty Copeland’s ideas of failure
here!
Stop conflating self-worth with success and achievement.
We must remove our perception of our worth from our ability to “do” or “succeed.” The two are not related. Not even close.
Yet, we tend to think of ourselves in this way. That we are only as good as what we can accomplish in the studio. What we can achieve on stage. And how good we are at accomplishing and achieving.
While this is so backwards, it is so prevalent in dance culture. And it’s easy to see why - so much of being a dancer is reliant upon external validation such as getting the part, receiving applause, or even simply getting feedback in class.
But if we can successfully remove our self-worth from our achievements and successes, it would be so much easier to learn from our failures. To examine them as separate from us. To see what worked and what didn’t, make the necessary adjustments, and try again.
We mustn't let failure stop us in our tracks. To dictate our worth, our value, our sense of self. And we mustn’t let it trick us into believing that we are not capable of doing better next time.
You are not defined by your successes. Just as you are not defined by your failures. And your value as a dancer and human being does not rest on what you are able to achieve.
Got it? Get it? Good.
Become inspired by your own failure.
Once you have removed your sense of worth and value from the success equation, it becomes so much easier to see failure for what it truly is: a lesson.
Every failure and mess up holds wisdom inside of it. But if we’re too ashamed to face it, we don’t ever get to benefit from that wisdom.
Whatever brought you to that failure will eventually bring you to your success. So long as you are able to see the failed attempt, as just that, an attempt- one that didn’t turn out the way you hoped it would.
So, what can you do next time to change the outcome? And the time after that? And the time after that?
Reflection here is key. Get into the habit of reflecting on your efforts in the studio after class, after rehearsals, and after performances. Give yourself credit for the success you had, and then summon the courage to face the mess ups - after all, that’s where the gold is.
Be crystal clear on your why.
If failure is both inevitable and no fun to deal with, then you better be sure that what you are trying to achieve is worth it.
Why do you dance?
Be crystal clear on your why. Why is this goal so important to me? Why do I want to succeed in this endeavor? And why am I willing to go through failure after failure to get there?
The clearer you can get on your why, the more potential you give yourself to play the long game. Better to be prepped for that long game, then to think it will be an easy victory. Success almost never is.
And don’t just answer these questions before you start your journey. Revisit them over and over again. Why? Because destinations change, journeys change, and the whys change.
If you are always in tune with your why, then you always have access to the fuel that ignites your fire. Don’t lose that. You’ll need it when you face hard times.
Share your failures with others.
Failure doesn’t have to be something we all shy away from. It doesn’t have to be something we’re ashamed of. And it doesn’t have to be something we keep to ourselves.
It’s amazing just how much common ground there is when we open our most vulnerable selves to other people, to other dancers.
Failure is a universal feeling. We all know what that feels like. We have all experienced it in one way or another. It is part of being human. There is no escaping it.
So, not talking about it is bonkers. We should all be shouting our failures from the rooftops! Because at the very least, it shows that you are trying. And that is always worth celebrating.
