Dec 15 / Simon Ward, CPsychol, AFBPsS

My New Year's Resolution is Not to Write a New Year's Resolution

Sitting on the beach with the sound of the waves in my ears and the warmth of the sun on my face, I realized two things; One - I’m sorry for making my northern hemisphere friends jealous, and Two, the pressure of coming up with New Year’s Resolutions is looming.

I had to order another ice cream cone to cope.

For those unfamiliar, making resolutions is the practice of reviewing one’s life at some point on New Year’s Eve and then coming up with a whole stack of changes you’d like to make in your life. Well, that’s the ideal. In real life, where the humans live, it is a flurry of gym membership and meal plan advertising, waves of guilt about not seeing friends or family enough, not doing all those little life tasks by the time I should have, not getting the work/life balance right, feeling emptiness inside because something we longed for hadn’t happened, and the usual self-recrimination about how the body we have isn’t the body we want, in the clothes we want, in the house we want, in the job we want. Research indicates that the most common new year’s resolutions are about Weight loss, Fitness gain, Diet and Lifestyle improvement, Sleep change and traveling more. Also in those studies are the statistics which find that 80-92% do not maintain the resolutions throughout the year.

Then we are supposed to come up with a list and renovate our lives.

Of course there isn’t anything particularly bad about zooming out and looking at how our lives are going every now and then. In the context of a good, deep chat with a good, deep friend it can be hilarious, humbling, horrifying and hopeful. Working with a therapist or coach on what obstacles might be getting in the way of achieving the things we want in life is also super helpful.

Most of the time though, it’s a yearly battle between our self esteem and the advertising industry – hint, they’ll win.

So this year, I am waving a flag and protesting the pressure of making New Year’s resolutions. Down with the pre-emptive social anxiety and negative messaging which says that because my life didn’t achieve the things I wanted to this year, then ALL of me has to be scooped out and resculpted next year. Away with the crushing commercial bullying which wants me to look, like or love as I don’t want to or need to.
Humans are works in progress; creatively cumulative ecosystems, beautifully made, infinite in variety and scope, ever changing. So, I’ve decided to make an END of Year Resolution list.
I will list all the other things:

1. The things I’m grateful I tried – regardless whether it worked out in the way I wanted.
2. All the things I was surprised by, whether good or bad.
3. All the people I connected with in new ways.
4. All the new things I learned which I want to continue learning.
5. The things my body supported me doing
6. The new ways I discovered to nourish my creative self
7. Things or people I lost which I am grateful I had in my life for the time I did
8. Things I know I need to release and gently let dissolve.
You get the idea.
Then if I must plan a bit, I draw three circles for what I want to keep, what I want less of, and what I want more of. I then write a few things in each. Then, and here is the radical bit, I take a red marker and write in a very large, friendly letters, ‘FOR NOW’ across the top of the page.
All the best to you, dear reader, for 2026.
May it bring adventures, sparkly people, exciting challenges and scrumptious growth. I’ll definitely get to all those tasks I’ve been putting off before January.
But first, I’m just off for another ice cream cone.

____

SOURCES AND RESOURCES:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7725288/
https://www.finder.com.au/insights/new-years-resolutions-statistics
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0899-3289(88)80016-6 

Simon Ward

CPsychol, AFBPsS

Simon Ward is an actor, psychologist and educator based in Sydney, Australia. Simon trained in the MA Musical Theatre degree & the LRAM program in teaching voice at the Royal Academy of Music in London, holds a Licentiate in Musical Theatre from Trinity College London, trained in Acting with the Actors Centre Australia, and completed four Psychology degrees at Macquarie University in Sydney.

He has performed in London’s West End, New York City & throughout Australia in musicals, plays, opera and extensively in cabaret. He has also directed shows for the Sydney, Adelaide and Melbourne Fringe Festivals.

Simon teaches acting, singing, voice, and mental health for performers to university and college students, and also coaches and runs workshops internationally on anxiety and the voice, psychology and performing, psychology and professional development for arts educators. He works with individuals, educational institutions, and arts industry organizations.

Simon has also worked as a Clinical Psychologist in the NSW Government Health Department, as a consultant psychologist for the Australian Ballet & works in private practice. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society for the Arts, an Associate Fellow and Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, a member of the Australian Psychological Society, a member of the Musical Theatre Educators’ Alliance, a member of the Australian National Association of Teachers of Singing, the British Voice Association, Equity UK and MEAA Equity Australia. www.simonward.info